DeeDee Moore: On Bridging the Gap from Parent to Grandparent
As we celebrate the “mama’s mamas” this month, we have a special grandparent feature, highlighting mom, grandma and More than Grand founder, DeeDee Moore. As a mother of four and grandmother of three, she shares with us the lessons she learned as a mom and a grandma, and reveals how she started her platform to educate grandparents in a way that helps to connect all of us as mothers.
DeeDee, tell us about you:
I'm DeeDee, mother of four, grandmother of three and founder of More Than Grand, a website dedicated to bridging the gap from parent to grandparent. I'm living my dream life with my high school sweetheart and husband of 40 years in a house on a lake, reading and helping my family when I'm not researching topics and creating content for More Than Grand.
What did becoming a mother look like for you?
I was in my early twenties when my first child was born, long before any of my friends were having babies. But I had a huge advantage: my youngest sister was born when I was 15, so I’d had plenty of recent practice on a real baby. I had wanted to be a mother for as long as I could remember, and lucked into having a pretty easy baby to start with. I often remembered a story from a couple of years before my son was born, when there was a devastating earthquake in Mexico City. Fourteen infants were trapped in a collapsed hospital - and they all survived, including one that wasn't rescued until over a week later. In a strange way it gave me so much confidence as a new mom: this fragile creature wasn't going to die if I messed up a little.
As a grandma, what advice do you have for new moms going through it all?
We worry about so many things as new parents, and many of them aren't worth the energy they take and the anxiety they produce. You can't control everything, and it's not worth trying. One of the best things we can give our children is the ability to be flexible and adapt to changing situations. Feed them, love them, and do your best to keep them safe.
What was the most unexpected part of your own motherhood journey?
How different each of my children were, despite the same set of parents, the same genes, and the same environment. I can trace each of their personalities back to what they were like in the early months of their lives: in the end, I don't think my husband and I did much to influence how they turned out.
How does Matrescence’s Mission to “mother the mother” resonate with you as a mother and grandmother?
I firmly believe mothers are the most important members of our society. Caring for them, and giving them the support they need should be the goal of everyone who cares about the future. I received that from my own mother when I was a new mom, and I've been privileged to be able to provide it for my daughter-in-law. One of my main goals with More Than Grand is to help other grandparents understand the importance of how they treat their grandchild's mother.
In what ways do you find self care in your day? Do you struggle with prioritizing it in your life?
Exercising in the morning, enjoying my tea while gazing at the lake, eating wholesome food that I enjoy --these are all things that feel like self care. I'm at a point in life that it isn't hard to achieve, which is nice after the busy years with 4 kids and a deployed husband that made self care impossible.
Anything else you want us to know?
I wish more moms today could trust their instincts. There is no such thing as a perfect parent or a perfect child. There is no "right" way to do anything as a parent, which means there is no wrong way, either. Your kids are going to turn out fine as long as they know that you love them. You probably know how to do that without anyone's advice.
Follow DeeDee on Instagram
